I'm Gone
by AfarOff
Summary: Mrs. Benson has decided to move to Nebraska. Freddie is depressed, and new things are discovered.
1. Chapter 1

So, this is my first full fledged story. I've written snippets of things, but I've never done anything all the way through from a start to a finish. That said, I hope you like it! :)

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I'm merely writing about characters based on the show iCarly owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Dan Schneider.

* * *

Chapter One

"But mom!" "No 'Buts'. We're leaving this city in two weeks.". Freddie groaned and angrily walked to his room and slammed the door.

_My mom told me we're leaving Seattle because it's 'not safe enough'. I don't want to leave Seattle. It's my home. All of my friends are here; my life is here! Even worse is that she says we're going to some hick town called Hay Springs, in Nebraska, because we have some relative near there, and apparently the crime rates are nonexistent. Yeah... what do you expect when there are only 600 people inhabiting the place?_

_I can't believe she's doing this to me._

Freddie couldn't sleep the entire night. He was too busy thinking, and simply being angry. He thought all night about his friends, and how much iCarly needed him. He remembered back when he left because of Valerie, and how horribly their show went when he got Jeremy, AKA Germy, as his replacement. He decided that if this was indeed happening; he'd certainly have to get a better replacement. He thought about his feelings for Carly, and what was about to happen. They'd be separated. Even though she'd rejected him so many times--except when he saved her life-- he preferred to at least have a chance to try. That chance was gone in two weeks. At least until he was older.

The next morning he snuck out of his house. Past his mother; and went straight to school. He didn't get any sleep, so he left early to kill some of his time. When he got there, the halls were much more barren then they usually were. A few kids, and teachers were there, but most were probably at home, still eating breakfast at this point. Especially on a Monday? Most preferred to soak up all of the weekends that they could get; not come to school early on a Monday. Freddie went about his normal ways like he'd always; going to his locker, unloading books, and talking to Carly and Sam. Oh wait.... He couldn't think of what to do with so much time to kill. He thought about heading to the cafeteria to get some breakfast, but he wasn't really in the mood for eating. So, he decided to hand in any weekend homework he had gotten on Friday.

* * *

Carly showed up to school with most of the other students, and like Freddie, went about her normal morning school day. Freddie was usually there by then, so she was wondering where he was. Mere moments later, Freddie called her name from down the hall. She looked back and saw a zombie. No, wait, it was Freddie. In Zombie form. His eyes were bloodshot, with bags underneath them, and he bore a face with no expression at all. "Didn't you get ANY sleep last night?" she questioned him. "Nope." he simply replied. "Why were you down there?" she asked. "I got here early and I had to find something to do." he blandly stated. "Which was?" Carly asks. "I was just handing in my homework from Friday." he replied. "Ah. What's up with you today? You sound bummed." she asked. "I AM bummed. My mom--" he sighed. "Let's just wait for Sam first." "Umm, okay." Carly wondered. What was up with Freddie? He did mention his mom, so she probably just told him he couldn't get his hair cut normally because scissors are too sharp.

"What up cheese pieces!" yelled an abrupt voice from behind Carly, who shrieked in response. "SAM!" Carly yelled. "What?" Sam asks. Carly giggles. "Never mind, Sam." Carly said. "WHOA, Frednerd, you look like an old fat cake." a typical Sam rudely states to Freddie. "Sam!" Carly says with a slight smirk on her face. "What now?!" Sam asks. "It's not nice to relate people to old food." Carly responds. "Oh yeah, especially when I'm insulting someone." Sam says, to which Carly acts proud. Sam quickly opens her locker, to pull out a fat cake. She begins petting it and says "Mama's sorry." "Oh, Sam." Carly shakes her head with a smirk.

"So Freddie, why are you bummed?" Carly asks while Sam begins her own morning routine. "Whoa, the nerd is bummed? What happened, did drop your laptop?" She asks in a condescending tone. "Please Sam, this isn't the time." a still emotionless Freddie states. "Yeah, cut it out." Carly tells her. "Fine..." says Sam, annoyed. "So Freddie, what's up?" Carly asks Freddie. "I--" he pauses and sighs. "My mom... last night, my mom told me that we're leaving Seattle. For good." "WHAT?!" Carly and Sam both scream in unison. "You heard me. She thinks Seattle is too dangerous, and now she's going so far as to move to 'Hay Springs', Nebraska." Freddie explained. "Freddie... you're joking, right?" Carly asked, dreadfully hoping he was. Sam had taken a few steps back, and put on her, 'I don't know what to say' face. "No... I'm not." "But Freddie can't you--" "No! I already had a big fight with my mom last night, and there's no way she's changing her mind. The only other option I have is to run away-- and I told you guys what happened when I tried that last time." Freddie retorted. "But..." Carly said. "Don't worry.... I'll find you guys a replacement for iCarly." Freddie stated. "I don't care abou--" Freddie cut Carly off. "**I** do. And don't worry; I'll get someone better than Jeremy."

The bell rang, and Carly and Freddie silently walked off to class. Sam did not.. She was looking at her feet, in shock that Freddie was not kidding. She pondered her feelings for a moment; she wondered why she felt so upset... so hurt. When she looked back up, she was snapped into reality by the fact that everyone else was gone. She went to class then as well.

* * *

Notes:

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, and please review with any comments or criticism. I have low self-esteem so any kindness will help a lot :(

I'm generally new at writing and if you have any suggestions at writing structure, I absolutely welcome them. I crave them, actually :)

This will probably be about 4-5 chapters long, about 1000 words per chapter. It may change if I have more ideas. I'll try to update at least weekly, but if I write enough I may move it to twice weekly. I'm one of those people who do a lot before hand so there's less work in the long run.

If you're wondering why I picked Hay Springs, Nebraska(a real place), I do actually have a reason. I wanted him to be about 1000 miles away, and I had to find somewhere Freddie's mother would realistically bring him to. As stated, it had to basically have nonexistent crime. If you check out the crime statistics for that place, it pretty much is. It was also convenient there was only around 600 residents, as I think that would be typical of Freddie's mother. I know there's no reason technically for her to go to Nebraska.... I mean, technically they could just move to Yakima. So I had to have a reason why they're going so far away, and at best they could simply have family there. Maybe it's a long lost member of the Fencin' Bensons!! :D  
I'm too concerned about minute(my-noot) details. I never like to leave things like that with no reason behind them. And the 1000 miles was important because of the inspiration of the story.

Also, I'd just like to mention I favor neither Sam/Freddie or Carly/Freddie. I like both, and I don't mind either. I picked Sam/Freddie for this out of mere plot interest, and I thought the emotions would be more fun to mold given the current relationship of the two on iCarly. ...Okay, and I just prefer Jennette McCurdy to Miranda Cosgrove.. :) they're both wonderful girls of course, I just have my own preferences :)

Maybe I'll do a Carly/Freddie story sometime.


	2. Chapter 2

All right! A week hath passed and I can finally post chapter two. It's been done since before I posted the first chapter... ;PA bit boring, if I do say. But interesting nonetheless.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I'm merely writing about characters based on the show iCarly owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Dan Schneider.

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Chapter Two

Later in the day, the iCarly gang was back at Carly's apartment.

"Oh, man, are you serious?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah." Carly replied.

Spencer walked over to Freddie who was sitting at the counter by the computer. He kindly put his hand on Freddie's shoulder.

"I'm sorry about this Freddo." Spencer said to Freddie.

"Thanks...." Freddie replied, and managed a small smile.

"You know, if you want, I could try to talk your mom out of this. We are both adults, maybe she'd listen to me." Spencer said.

"Thanks, but don't bother. My mom made up her mind, and she's not changing it." Freddie said.

"Alright..." Spencer disappointedly said back. Spencer wouldn't ignore a friend in need, and he knew immediately that he wasn't taking Freddie's advice. Right then, he started to think up things to say to Mrs. Benson.

Sam sat on the couch, completely silent, watching television. For some reason, no one had noticed her reaction to this entire thing. Carly and Freddie had left her in the hallway at school, not even noticing her shock. And now, Carly, Freddie, and Spencer all in the same room, still failed to notice Sam.

All four went about some activity, and none spoke to each other. Carly sat on the couch with Sam, and though staring, she did not pay any attention to the TV. She was thinking back to when her granddad wanted to take her to Yakima. The case then was that she still could have visited. In Freddie's case, his mom probably wouldn't let him. She also had a slight thought; that it was partially her fault. When Freddie took that truck hit for her, it had obviously sprung some anger towards Carly in Mrs. Benson's eyes. She may perhaps have wanted to take him away from Carly to prevent any other similar situations. This lead to a bit of guilt in Carly. And she hadn't even heard Mrs. Benson call her a freak!

Freddie couldn't help being angry that his life was about to uprooted and moved to Nebraska, of all places. He would lose so much, and so much would change. He then remembered when his mom had almost started a relationship with Lewbert. Of all the irony. If he'd let it happen, sure, Lewbert might've been his 'daddy', but at least he would've stayed in Seattle. It's funny how things happen.

Sam was still still simply pondering her odd feelings toward the situation. She never really hated Freddie, like some may have thought, so it's expected that she might be upset; but it hit her much more than anyone would have thought. When she first heard Freddie say it, her stomach started to stir like any of the times she'd eaten something rotten due to her lust for food. The steps she took backwards were because she didn't understand why it was happening. For the first few moments of the situation, she thought back to anything she'd eaten recently. Alas, there was nothing she could thing of that could have been bad.

Spencer still thought of ways to change Mrs. Benson's mind. Spencer's always tried to be like an older brother to Freddie. After all, Freddie had no brothers, and not even a father. Spencer was Freddie's friend, and he liked to help his friends.

Eventually, time had passed, and darkness had fallen upon the city. Their stomachs all growled; especially Sam's, who hadn't eaten in hours. How could that have happened?  
"Hey guys, are you hungry too?" Carly asked the others.

"Yeah, I guess so. I haven't eaten much since yesterday." Freddie answered.

"Sam?" Carly said.

"Huh?" Sam responded.

"Aren't you hungry by now?" Carly asked her. Sam looked to her stomach, and placed a hand on it to feel.

"Uhh, yeah." Sam said. Carly was puzzled by Sam's lack of craze.

"Alright then..... why don't we head down to the Groovy Smoothie for dinner?" Said Carly.

"Sure." Both Freddie and Sam said, one after the other.

"Spence, you wanna come too?" Carly asked.

"No thanks. I think I'll just see what we have left in the fridge." Spencer replied.

"Okay then. We'll be back soon." Carly told him as the other three got up to leave. Before Carly had gotten out of the door she heard Spencer.

"Wait, get me a blueberry smoothie!!" He yelled to Carly, who merely nodded in agreement with a smile.

Spencer told them he was going to eat, but in truth he had been planning to put his ideas to action in trying to coax Mrs. Benson into staying in Seattle. When he was sure the others were gone, he went across the hall to knock on the Benson's apartment door.

"Freddie?!" Mrs. Benson yelled as she quickly opened the door. Only to her dismay, did she simply see Spencer. "Um, no Mrs. Benson. It's just me; little ol' Spencer." he said, in his own, Spencer way.

"Oh, _you."_ she said and snared at him. Spencer was taken aback by the her face, and a bit afraid to continue his attempt. But he remembered that Freddie was his friend, and continued. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

* * *

Over in the Groovy Smoothie, everyone sat, still quietly, eating and drinking.

"I can't believe I'm not gonna be able to come here anymore. Never have any of these times." Freddie said, depressed. They all just looked at their food. T-Bo then showed up with a new addition to his foods on a stick; Bananas.

"Anyone want to buy a banana?" They all stared, with shock in their faces. Then suddenly, all three were overtaken by the humor of the idea of bananas on a stick, and cracked up laughing.

"Man, forget this!" T-bo yelled and walked away. The three still laughed. Eventually, they calmed and the mood had been lifted up. All three were finally smiling after a day of frowns.

"Let's try and keep this mood." Said Freddie, with the first smile he'd had in twenty four hours.

They reminisced about the times they'd had before, all with a light tone and general happiness, despite the situation.

They stayed for about 20 more minutes, and eventually paid and walked to the door.

"Hey guys, I'm just gonna head home." Sam told them both.

"'Kay, stay safe." Carly said with a smirk. Sam smiled and nodded in return. And proceeded to walk off.

It's funny. In all the excitement, still no one has noticed Sam's off behavior. Let's face it; everyone is distracted. But of all people to be so silent... Sam was one of the most noticeable people in anything she did. How anyone could manage to ignore her behavior is astounding.  
Be that as it may, it's true. Sam's demeanor has been completely off for the entire day, and no one has noticed yet.  
Freddie and Carly then headed off to their building together, remaining mostly silent the way there.  
Freddie walked through the hall, and gave his nightly goodbye to Carly as he went off into his apartment. As he walked through the door, there was his mother, standing there, glaring at him.

"What were you doing all day? I called you two dozen times and I got no response!" She angrily said to Freddie.

"Mom, I don't wanna talk to you right now." Freddie stated, and walked off. His mother was jaw dropped at him leaving like that, but she decided to let it slide.

* * *

Notes:

That's chapter two. It was really stalemated, I know, but I wanted to simply write the rest of the day before totally moving forward. It was good in developing the feelings of the characters, as well. Next chapter is the real storyteller, and will have lots of time skips, and mid character speeches. I think it's good to write little parts of the characters explaining things from their own point of view occasionally. Just occasionally. I personally don't like full on first person writing, but it's very nice to explain the characters feelings and thoughts through their own words. Gives it more of an effect, if you will. But yeah, I promise; chapter 3 will be more fun. It gets a lot of stuff down.  
In other news, I figured out what that "A/N" people always put, means. I may or may not start using it.... ;)

Why is Sam acting like this? Did Spencer actually talk to Mrs. Benson to any avail? Find out next time!

Review please! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Apologies to anyone who actually is waiting on this. I missed my deadline, and the next week!

Stubs were written 3 weeks ago, but in writing the details, I had a pain with making the whole thing work. So please like it! :) I worked as much as I could in the past few days to pump this out by today. My add-date is Monday; which I missed majorly, obviously :( I didn't wanna wait any longer since people might figure I ditched it. Alas, I'm here. Chapter 4 should be on schedule, as it was significantly easier to write, and is already near complete.

CLARIFICATION: The time skipping; it is based on the PREVIOUS time. Not the original. Say we started in, 2010. We then skip a year. Then, we skip two years. That means we're 3 years later then the orignal date; in 2013. Just to make that clear.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I'm merely writing about characters based on the show iCarly owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Dan Schneider.

* * *

Chapter Three

**-One week later from last chapter-**

In the week that has passed, Freddie has been busy trying to take care of what he considers his responsibilities.

He has been checking out people to replace him on iCarly for a few days now. He's checked the technology-based clubs at school, and put up a notice on for anyone in the Seattle area that knows about that stuff. Today, he seems to have gotten lucky with a good candidate named Drew. He was a kind fellow, though a bit stiff. He was more of a, "let's get down to business" guy, opposed to someone in it for the fun. He wasn't a completely piece of wood though; after all, he did watch iCarly, and want to run it.

After showing him the ropes, Freddie did a short test episode of iCarly with Drew in control to see how he did. To Freddie's happiness, he did great. If he left Drew in charge of the technical aspects of iCarly, he could now leave without feeling guilty.

It would only be a few more days until they left for Nebraska. They were to stay with their relative until they found a place of their own. Freddie has been dreading every passing day, and spending as much time with his friends as he could. It was lucky he lived across the hall from Carly.

School had been just as usual as it always was, which contented Freddie in his final days. He wanted to experience his last days there, as if they weren't his last. Principal Franklin had offered his apologies to Freddie sometime in the past few days, since he needed advance notice that Freddie was leaving. He always was a kind man. Freddie would surely miss him as well.

In a coming day, Freddie, Carly, and Sam were to film the final iCarly episode with Freddie at the controls. Like every other day, Freddie was dreading it. Of course he wouldn't want to film his _last_ show.

**-Six days later-**

It's the last night before Freddie was to leave, and for that reason, he was at Carly and Spencer's apartment for dinner, along with Sam, who was going to sleep at Carly and Spencer's, where Spencer made a classic; spaghetti tacos.

They talked and they ate, and they had a good last night together. A fitting one for the future. Throughout the night, everyone tried to ignore the fact that Freddie was leaving tomorrow, but they all knew he was. As much as they tried, the fact had hit them several times and merely brought about sadness to them all until someone tried to brighten the mood. Fortunately, the night ended well, with everyone laughing and smiling.

**-The next morning-**

Freddie, his mother, Carly, Spencer, and Sam stood in the parking lot of the Bushwell building. The Benson's were preparing to leave on their trip to Nebraska, and final goodbyes were in order for them all.

"Well, this is it." Freddie spoke with a smirk on his face, trying no to spread unhappiness.  
"Yeah....." Carly said back, sadly. Freddie moved towards Carly to give her a hug, which lasted for about 15 seconds, despite Carly having let go after about 5. Freddie only gave up when his mother "cleared her throat". Spencer then hugged Freddie while Carly moved to hug Mrs. Benson, who decided to be nice during their goodbyes. Mrs. Benson wasn't particularly mean; just over-protective of Freddie, and a bit..... crazy, some might say.

Spencer than swapped to Mrs. Benson, and Carly elbowed Sam and gestured for her to hug Freddie. She did, albeit, with little enthusiasm.

"Well...." Mrs. Benson said, and paused. The others looked toward her, and she began to speak.  
"I guess we should be going." she said. A frown immediately came upon Freddie's face. Spencer and Carly both looked sad, whereas Sam was looking around thinking of how awkward the whole moment was. Mrs. Benson opened her car door, and got into her car. Freddie moved to go around the other side, but Carly grabbed his wrist. She pulled him in for a second hug, which Freddie certainly adored.  
"Goodbye, Freddie." She said softly as they pulled apart.  
"Bye." He simply replied, with a frown on his face. Spencer decided to join in on the sweetness and gave also gave his friend another hug. He started to speak when the hug broke.  
"See you later, Freddie." He said with a reassuring smile that they would see each other again. Freddie smiled  
"See you later Spence." he said back, trying to go along with Spencer. Freddie looked over at Sam. They exchanged nods, and grins, and Freddie walked to the other side of the car. He looked over the hood at his friends, and got in. His mom turned the key, and the car pulled out. One last time, Freddie looked back at them through the car window, and they drove off.

**-Two days later-**

The Benson's have been perilously journeying through the country for two days, and it has all but come to an end. They drove into a small town; just as you would expect in Nebraska.

As they drove, Freddie looked around at his new home. The farmland of Nebraska, and the southern-ness that took place in the middle of the country. This was were he was living from now on; for good or for bad. He couldn't change it. Not now at least.

_Here we are. In Nebraska. There's not much to say about it really. It's just.... Nebraska. Everything is boring, and calm. Looks like this is my life from now on. What to do from here? I guess try and make some new friends._

**-Two weeks later-**

In the time Freddie has been gone, everyone has been trying to adjust. Drew at the helm of iCarly, and the lack of Freddie, anywhere.

Of all things happening, Sam had _actually_ been missing Freddie.

Sam was in her house, laying on her bed with her hands behind her head. It was night time, and she was almost about to go to sleep. She has still been busy thinking a lot more than she usually did. Her feelings towards everything had still been mixed and confusing. She failed to understand why of all people, it was Freddie she had been so affected by. She was thinking about him much more often then she ever had, and was resenting herself for being so stupid.

_I didn't think I would miss Freddie this much. I know I act like I hate him, but I really don't mind the kid all that much. I didn't really want him to go, but I didn't think I was gonna feel this bad about it. We even have a new tech producer. So what is there to miss?_

She began to drift off into sleep, where her dreams were likely to be filled with lots of bacon.

**-Five months later-**

A long while has passed since Freddie has left. In essence, everyone has pretty much moved on. Freddie has long since been out of the iCarly production, and Carly and Sam have adjusted to Drew. As he always would've before, Freddie never missed an episode of iCarly. Every week he made time to watch whatever wacky and weird things his two friends came up with. Every week, he missed his old life.

_It's been about half a year since we left, and I still think about Carly and Sam every day. I mean, we talk and everything, but...._

_In this age, you can go to the other side of the world and talk to someone in 10 different ways. There's phones and texting, email, IM's, video chats, and even video game consoles. So, I'm still in communication with Carly... and sometimes Sam. The biggest shock? I've been thinking of Sam a lot more. Why? Maybe it's just because we don't talk much. But I think it's something different.... Talking doesn't replace seeing that person, so I don't believe for a second that I should be ignoring Carly just because I talk to her. _

_All of this time.... we've fought, and we've yelled, and she was a bigger pain then you can imagine. But even so, I think I miss her. I actually miss Samantha Puckett. Wow._

* * *

Notes:

That's all for now, folks. As everyone says; review please! :)

We're getting very far quickly; but hey it's a short story. It may be 5, or 6 chapters. I'm assuming 6 at most, but I may do 7.

I know I'm skipping over more general aspects; but I'm focussing primarily on the romance area on purpose. It's a _**short**__ story, _not a book. Eh, I'm too paranoid. It's a habit to try and cover myself in all ways; but everyone here seems to be very nice, so I doubt that's a big problem :)

I saw 'iPie' a few days ago, and I thought of making the unnamed relative Mrs. Benson's unseen cousin(in that episode), since they didn't mention where she lived, buuuut..... I still figured it better to leave it ambiguous. Most people probably don't care, but it ticks me off. I like all details covered.

The guy's name was Drew for no other reason then it coming to mind while writing. No significance.

Aaaand, I know the hugging scene was a bit cheesy, but I was trying to make it realistic.... I had a similar experience in meeting a family again after 8 months, so I based it on that. It just seems painfully awkward :(

Laaastly, I think we should have separate areas to write notes in. As you can tell; I talk a lot. Thanks to that, I add about 500 extra words per chapter :( It would be nice to babel without adding words that don't exist to my chapter.

So yeah, uhh. It's Friday, and I'll try to have chapter four out by THIS Monday. Three day deadline, yippee :( As it's going, it indeed looks to be around 6 chapters. Again, possibly 7 :)


	4. Chapter 4

Whew, I'm surprised I made it. I got caught up playing the Sims 3 yesterday while I could've been writing. Rest assured, my Sim was improving his own writing skills ;) Seriously. He was. N joke :)

I still managed to make my deadline though! Woohoo! Looks like everything is back on schedule. Chapter 5 should be out by next week, or even sooner maybe if it's done.

I'd like to thank the people who've subscribed to this-- It is a huge blessing to me to have any sort of response; so I deeply thank you all. Reviews are still appreciated though :D

Chapter four; a very feelingy chapter.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I'm merely writing about characters based on the show iCarly owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Dan Schneider.

* * *

Chapter Four

One and a half years. That is how long it has been. Narrowly two years have passed since Freddie's departure. All in all, everyone has moved on with their lives; yet not forgotten each other. Carly and Spencer still talk to Freddie, but Sam and Freddie have been scarce in each other's lives.  
Though Sam had issues in her heart when Freddie first left, she merely pushed them away. She chose to ignore them, and act like nothing had changed. She returned to her normal self after a few months, and has remained so ever since. Ignorance of one's heart is not changing it. Sam Puckett may act like she has not been affected, and may even believe it herself; but she was indeed affected, however little she'd like to believe it.

Recently, Sam has baffled, and disgusted herself by doing something she never would've thought she'd do in a sane mind.

_Today, I did something disgusting. I was looking back at some of our old iCarly episodes, and right in the middle.... it happened. Freddie turned the camera toward himself, and...... I hit pause. I paused the video on Freddie, and I just stared at it. Why would I do that? I think I'm gonna go check into a cuckoo hut now._

After a long time, this has happened. It seems some inner feelings of the heart have unearthed themselves without Sam's permission, and done something drastic; at least in her mind.

This is merely the beginning of repeating the events that happened when Freddie left. Sam wants to believe that she is merely insane, but that simple action of clicking a mouse has been much more important than she'd like to think. In the coming days, she'd once again be thinking of Freddie, and just thinking, much more than she usually did. Sam was more of an action before thought person in general. She certainly thinks, but she usually just blows through life acting on whims, without considering any repercussions.

In this case, Sam is forcefully trying not to think. She's confused with herself... She doesn't understand how Freddie could make her feel this way. She's trying to push back any feelings she has, right back into her, and ignore them completely. But, as she is learning, she cannot do that forever. Ignorance of one's heart is not changing it. She can ignore and fight however much she wants, but in the end it will be unearthed, like it or not. Perhaps she's afraid. Sam Puckett was rarely afraid; she preferred beating the pulp out of everything instead of getting afraid. But a fight of her emotions is on a completely different plane. She's never been very in touch with her feelings, nor does she enjoy dealing with them passed the surface level. But fighting.... fighting was something that was natural to Sam.

Sam is afraid. She is afraid of her heart, and she's doing what is merely nature to her: fighting. But in time, she will have to face her fear. This is one of the few things that fighting cannot defeat. And she must learn that the hard way.

Now, Freddie on the other hand, thinks a lot.

He has a much clearer thought range, and he thinks about what's going inside him all the time. The only issue, is that he's confused. Ah, how cheesy it sounds. In a larger sense though, he really is merely confused. Freddie and Sam have long since moved passed any actual hatred they may have shared for each other, but regardless, how Freddie could have feelings for the one that terrorized his life was beyond him. Unlike Sam, he dove into his feelings and tried to understand his increased thought of that terror. Feelings for someone, may be a simple explanation in anyone else's case.... but Freddie? He liked Carly! Not Sam! He was supposed to be missing Carly to no end! Not the one that had insulted him, made fun of him, and injured him on a multi-daily basis! It didn't make any sense!

Both of them have had interesting results from the simple event that was Freddie moving. Results that likely none expected. But it's been a long time. It may seem weird, but neither have yet to completely understand any of it. It makes sense though. With their past, it's completely understandable that they'd not come to some sort of conclusion that another would've quickly. It's just such a shock. A shock that neither expected, nor particularly wanted. Dealing with a monster; or with... well.... someone that... you liked to torment for no actual reason.... well, it's something you probably don't want.

One and a half years. That is how long it has been. And finally are they coming to a realization so long in the making. They have both spent a long time with churning stomachs, many sleepless nights, many unexplained thoughts, and many feelings that neither could fully understand before. Neither would believe, but both had known, deep within themselves. However much they tried to fight. Perhaps still, even without belief, they are finally ready in their hearts. Freddie has some feelings.

_I can't believe I've been living in Nebraska for nearly 2 years now. I still can't wrap my head around it. It feels like just yesterday, I was still in Seattle, filming iCarly. My life has been pretty boring here. Sure, I've made a few friends, but I can't let go of my old one's, even if it is a stupid thing to do. And girlfriends? Please. I haven't even considered it yet. I guess I just get too attached to things._

_The feelings I had about missing Sam have only increased. Sam doesn't bother talking to me much, like Carly does. And it's made me realize something. All of this time, I've narrowly hated Sam... I've loved Carly, and I've pursued her for years. Leaving Seattle has made me realize something. I miss Carly... I miss Spencer, I even miss Gibby. But more than any of them, I miss Samantha Puckett. In fact... I love, Samantha Puckett. _

A few months later, Sam has some pulsing anger.

_Freddie. The eternal nub. The dweeb; the geek; the loser. I hate him. I hate him so much. I just wanna.... I just wanna... I JUST WANNA THINK OF SOMETHING I WANT TO DO TO HIM. I can't! Any other time in my life I could've thought of a hundred ways I could torment him! But..... I can't... I just can't. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything. And I hate him for it. He doesn't deserve it. Why him? No... I hate myself. It's my fault for being such an idiot. NO, IT'S HIS FAULT! GRRRAAGH. I JUST BLAMED MYSELF INSTEAD OF HIM. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?_

_No....... I refuse. It can't be. Ow. My stomach hurts. That's been happening again, lately._

_No. Stop it. Stop it stomach. Stop it Sam. This is a lie. I won't say it. I won't. I CAN'T LOVE FREDDIE BENSON. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. But.... NO. NO BUTS. I don't. I can't. There's no way. Yeeeah.... no way. I don't.... I.. I.... I love Freddie._

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Notes:

Drake & Josh reference! Can you find it? It's pretty easy.

I liked how this chapter turned out. It was also very fun to write! Very cute and lovey dovey to my liking.

What interesting characters has Dan Schneider given us.... it's very fun to work with them. Don't worry; if you like character to character storylines, with lots of dialog, the coming chapters are definitely going to go back to that. This is sort've the bridge chapter, if you will. The one that we cross over to start working on the characters lives again.

By the way; did you get why I said "a few months later, Sam....."? It wasn't a time skip or anything, but I wanted to make it so Sam took longer than Freddie to admit it.

I find it interesting how everyone sees things differently. Most people seem to write as if Sam and Freddie consciously have feelings for each other. Obviously, I disagree with that.... This story is essentially the epitome of my opinion on that matter. It's just a matter of interpretation, of course, and it's all interesting. I'm by no means bashing anyone :) I read stories with that plot all the time.

ALLLSO, I **LOVE** how almost _every single_ story has jokes about Sam's food obsession. It's plain hilarious. Like I said, what interesting characters has Dan Schneider given us.... ;)


	5. Chapter 5

*Sigh* Once again, deepest, deepest apologies to anyone waiting on this. :( I did not write a single word for this after the last update, until yesterday. I've was fairly busy, and every time I went to write I just said "BAH, I don't know." and closed the editor. Fortunately, I managed to get it done yesterday. Again, deepest apologies for the delay.

Chapter five; a... a.. a chapter...

This is way long. Mostly because I went off on something that's partially unrelated to the story as whole.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I'm merely writing about characters based on the show iCarly owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Dan Schneider.

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Chapter Five

Love. A... peculiar thing, to say the least. It sneaks up on you one day, and then you find out that it holds many secrets and tricks that you never expected.

Sometimes it touches you, sometimes it breaks you. That is to say, it hits you lightly, and it hits you hard, respectively. But then, there can still be the opposite. Love can hit you hard and touch you in the most beautiful way you can imagine. It can hit you lightly; and yet break you completely. Or perhaps, you know of another mixture? I know sometimes.... love can be a shock... it can hit you when you least expected it, and it can do all sorts of things. It may first touch you, to the point where you lack comprehension enough to even consider another soul on the entire planet. And then it can break you... make you broken; shattered like a mirror in a million pieces, scattered throughout the earth, and make you wish you were dead. And then you question many things indeed: do you wish the pain to go away? Would you give up love, simply to relinquish pain? Or do you keep it because you love them too much to give up? Whatever you choose, you'll find even more things in wait for you later.

In the end, most people choose to love, or to hate, love. Some consider it a burden, and some consider it a blessing. Whatever love is like, you'll probably experience it at least once. And when you do; you'll find out.

Freddie thought he was in love with Carly.... perhaps he was; perhaps not. Sam thought she loved someone because of foreign bacon. I suppose Samantha Puckett has never particularly been one too in touch with her emotions. She's not emotionless by any means, no.... but she never did seem to have quite a grasp on what she felt. Would you think you were in love because of bacon?

And with either of the two, a shock beyond shocks arose from the deep darkness. Through mere loss, did Freddie discover that it was actually Samantha that he had loved. And Sam? Ha! Sam's case was beyond thought, it was so shocking. Little did anyone expect, Samantha Puckett was indeed in love, with one who many thought she hated. There was few days when Samantha Puckett had failed to insult or injure Fredward Benson in some way. She had never expected to love him, and now she questions why she does.

Through these examples, and many other's still, do we see the secrets of the mysterious thing that is love. Mysteries will be unraveled through all time, but never shall they all be discovered.

As that is said, we return to the story.

_So what now? I love Sam. I thought I loved Carly. Does this really change anything? I'm still here in Nebraska. _

_It does. I have to admit... I wasn't really that affected by Carly. But now.... I miss Sam more than ever. I feel like my heart has been ripped into two. But then again... Sam hates me. She'd probably laugh, spit in my face, or break several bones, if I so much as asked her out. I might as well save myself the embarrassment. Even if I wasn't here..... I doubt it would matter. Urgh, I'm torn. I guess it doesn't matter. I'm only 17 anyway. _

Love is quite crazy. Did you think things would be clearer now? Everything is even more confusing then before. Freddie is torn between his life, and his love, and everything about anything.

His mother in a shocking turn of events, had actually taught Freddie to drive, and let him get his license. More than likely, this is only because of the lack of people around the city. Such a tiny chance for an accident! Freddie made one choice. He needed a car. He had set himself on finding a job and buying a car, just in case of any decisions he would make that he still hadn't figured quite out.

Sam. Sam was a different story. She had decided... to ignore it. Even with all the frustration before, she still decided to ignore it all. In her eyes; nothing had changed. Okay, she was in love with Freddie. So? How did that make a difference. Maybe it doesn't. But, maybe she'll find out differently in time.

--Freddies next birthday--

_Happy birthday . Well, I'm 18 now. I could go back to Seattle now if I wanted. But I can't. Even after years, I'm still mad at my mom for making us come here.... But, I know I'm really all she has. I'm not the kind of person, that I'd just leave her alone here, AND have her worry about me being so far away. Okay, so she wouldn't be completely alone... but I know my mom really loves me. And I love my mom..... but I also... I also love Sam Puckett; I still do. I mean, as mad as I could be, I'm not cruel. Not enough to just leave her flat. At least... not now. So at this point I don't know what to do. I could leave. But I'd be filled with too much guilt. I love her... I love my friend Sam, and there's nothing I can do right now. When can I leave? My situation will always be the same. It's obvious I can't stay here forever, but I don't know how to leave.... but if I don't, then I may miss my chance._

Torn between two kinds of love, Freddie is confused in his life. He wants desperately to get back to the one he so oddly fell in love with, and at the same time he's torn between someone that has essentially lived their life solely for him. Sure, she may have been annoying, but she did love him more than anything.

As much as he could, Freddie was always trying to think of a way out of it all. Some may think it's overreacting, but when you're in love; you don't care.

Until then, Freddie would live his life normally. Samantha Puckett, though ignoring it on the surface, had unbeknown to herself, avoided any kind of relationship since she had admitted her feelings for Frednerd. In any normal case she might have had several boyfriends, but she in fact had ignored any guy who took interest in her, and took herself no interest in a single person. She didn't want to do this; she didn't even realize she _was_ doing it! When you're in love... sometimes you just can't help it.

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Notes:

I'll be honest, I think that was an awesome line to end on. Bravo, me!

There's a little plug in here, if you can find it. I won't say what it's related to though. If you get it, mention it in your review(if you are so inclined to write one :) ) Very curious to see how many people will get it.

As for "Freddie's next birthday"; hell if I know when that is. I had other way to describe it. Though perhaps the whole time skip declarations are a tad awkward. I can't help it.... I'm an amateur writer, and more of a tv than book person.... I'm used to seeing "_Six months later"_flash through the screen on a movie. If there are better ways to do that, let me know. I'm most definitely not gonna read a book to try and find out :/

As I said last chapter, we're getting back into character association soon, if you don't like all the general babbling.

I'm definitely gonna overshoot my 7 chapter max assumption. When it got to writing, I found a lot more to write than I would've expected, and I want to organize things better. Since we are gonna get back to character interaction soon, I'd say we're looking at about 9 - 10 chapters. Than again, I should probably just stop making assessments. I'll likely defy them every time.

Lastly, once again, I'm sorry for my delays. I will _try_ to get back on track, but I'm not making any promises! I will promise however, that I WILL finish this. I'm not dropping it under any circumstances!


	6. Update  June 25th

Unfortunately, this is not a new chapter :( Sorry to disappoint if you actually care about this!

I just wanted to say some things.

I'm not even saying sorry. That's not far enough. Two months? Seriously? And I can't even lie; I'm almost _never_ busy, so obviously I'm just a terrible person. I'm no longer making any promises. I'd feel better if I didn't break a promise when I screw up.

Though at this current moment, I will finally admit I'm suffering from a minor writers block. Usually I have no trouble with such nonsense, so I've been unwilling to say it. For some things, I've written literally years of content(in my head)! And I'm never at a loss...

But every time I go to write this, I'm stuck on the same spot.

So to anyone who has actually cared about this story, I clarify: I AM NOT DROPPING IT. But seriously, two months is unbelievable. There are only 12 months in the year!

I'm not promising any dates or certainty, but I will promise two things:

I will not drop this story

I will _try_ to get my act together and start writing again, and finish this before the end of the damned year.

Other than that, I can't promise anything anymore. Too many broken promises already.

But yeah, I'd say sorry if that expressed enough sorrow at my lack of updates.

Chapter 6 is partially written; I'd say about 35 – 40% done. So hopefully I can bypass my block and actually finish it. :)

Even if there are just a few, I want to finish this for you! That rhymed by accident.

Oh yeah... on a random note.. should I change the name of this to :iAmGone, or iAmLeaving, or something of the same sort? I usually don't jump on bandwagons... but I realized that almost EVERY story on here followed the iCarly episode naming, and I feel out of place now. So yeah, should I change it?


End file.
